There was a little girl ...

Perhaps you know the rhyme:

"There was a little girl, who had a little curl, right in the middle of her forehead; and when she was good she was very, very good, and when she was bad, she was horrid."

I think that pretty much sums up my relationship with the inter web.  It can be awful.  It can bring out the worst in others; and in me.

BUT it can also be marvellous and bring people together and lead to wonderful things.

In May I will be visiting my cousin Louise in Exmouth.  If it wasn't for a FaceBook group on the Tupman family history I wouldn't even know that I had a cousin in Exmouth.  Louise and I share the same great grandparents.  Her grandfather and mine were brothers.

Louise and me by the sea.

Like many folk interested in learning more about their family tree, I have joined Ancestry, which in itself is a double-edged sword.  I love it when I use it but I'm not sure I use it enough to merit the $300/yr charge.   But I'm hooked as I couldn't bear to close the account and loose all the easy to find information I have collected and have access to.

On the positive side I got message from a stranger (S.M.) on Ancestry regarding my Great grandmother, Elizabeth, pictured below with her husband and children. 

Elizabeth with her husband James and their young children.  My grandfather, Bertie is between them and Louise's father is one of the twins on the laps.

Tragically Elizabeth died of consumption (TB) in 1903 at the young age of 34 leaving James and the children alone.

We think this may be a photo of the three youngest after their mother's death.    Louise's grandfather is on the right.

The Ancestry message from S.M. read:

I would be very interested to see the photographs you have of James and Elizabeth Tupman. In the mid 1980s I was in Penzance, Cornwall and in an antique shop bought a framed memorial to Elizabeth Tupman (died 23 December 1903) and have recently used Ancestry to find out more about this lady. I can provide you with a photograph of this, if you wish.

Wowsa !

I immediately wrote S.M. back granting them access to my tree so they could see the photos I had of Elizabeth and James and their children.

In turn they sent me an image of the framed fretwork memorial.  Knowing that fretwork was a hobby of James, it is clear that he created the memorial.

I wrote back to S.M. thanking them profusely for making contact and sharing the image and timidly asking if I might buy the memorial and got this response:

I certainly feel that after enjoying the Elizabeth Tupman picture for a few decades it would be very fitting to pass it on to you and your family, so perhaps we can meet when you are in the UK and I can give it to you then?

WOWSA !   AGAIN !   WOWSA !   A stranger is going to give me a piece of family history !

Here's James with a large fretwork piece that he did of Aberystwyth which now hangs on the wall in my cousin's home.

When I think of dumping FaceBook I remind myself that I control the experience of where I go and who I talk to.  FB has allowed me to stay in touch with my wonderful English "rellies" (relatives) over the pond and I treasure those small smiles, nudges, winks and hearts that occasionally pop up in my feed.

And those hearts will lead me back to Bath for my beloved aunt Audrey's 90th birthday celebration.

Audrey's 80th birthday with as my dear ol' da' would say, the "whole fam damly"

I am so looking forward to being in the next group photo switching from virtual to REAL hugs and kisses.

And meeting up with a kind stranger who reached out with a special gift and hopefully treating them to a pint at a local pub.