Thou shalt not ...

One of my favourite commandments is "Thou shalt not bark".  This commandment is not found with the original ten, but I think it would make an excellent "add-on".

For any dogs who may be reading this post, let me clarify.

While you are outside "doing your business", please be aware that barking is not part of "your business". One mild "wuff" or two is acceptable, but standing on the back deck yapping at our feathered-friends who are cruising the skies above our yard -- is not allowed.

Barking hysterically at the side gate, because you can hear another dog's dog-tags jingling as he is being walked up the street -- is not allowed.

If we go to the park to play ball, barking hysterically will not cause me to throw the ball:
  a) sooner,
  b) farther,
  or
  c) NOW !   NOW !   NOW !

Likewise, if we go into the woods, and no ball is present but you have found a "stick" that could easily double as a fence post,  please read the note above, and understand that bark, bark, barking will not convince me to chuck it for you.

What do you do with a dog that barks because you are not throwing his log ?

How do you change this evil, diabolical, nerve-shattering behaviour ?

NO.  You do not cosh him in the head with the log.  Though that response is tempting, he will simply see it as a new and wonderfully exciting game. You will end up on your arse in the snow, with the idiot-dog bouncing up and down in frenzied circles, barking "swing it at me again!  swing it at me again!".

Instead, when he barks, you simply bend down and clip on his leash.  Say nothing. Do not let him pick up the log. And continue with your walk.  The chuckle-head then has to stay by your side until you think he's gotten the point.  Once released, the silly ninny runs back, gets the log and drags it to you.

IF, he sits nicely, makes eye contact, and does NOT bark.  Then and only then, do you throw the log.

If the miscreant barks again, you repeat the leash thing again.  We went through this three times today. 

P.S.  Wendy wanted me to tell you that this post refers to Trey in its entirety, but I think you'd already figured that out.

Not the same ol' ball game.

Usually a ball-throwing game, involves a human flinging the ball, an insanely excited dog fetching said ball, and then returning the now goober-covered object, to the aforesaid human.  

The entire process is then repeated.  Ad nauseum.

I am delighted to report that my dogs have created a twisted variation on the usual paradigm.

It goes like this:

Step 1.   Wendy stands atop the cliff with the ball.

Step 2.   Wendy drops the ball to Trey, who is waiting in breathless anticipation below.

Step 3.  Trey fetches the ball.

Step 4.   Trey brings me the ball.

Step 5.   I throw the ball to the eagerly waiting, Wendy.

Steps 1-5 are then repeated in short order. 

A great time is had by all, until the human comes up short on a throw ...

The game then becomes very frustrating, as the human has to throw endless rocks, in an effort to dislodge the ball that is now firmly lodged in a net of twisted roots, hanging from the cliff-edge. Meanwhile the dogs are desperately searching for said ball, occasionally glancing suspiciously at the human, who in the past has been known to pretend to throw the ball, while secretly hiding it somewhere on her person.   


At long last (after 20 frikkin' minutes), the ball is freed from its rooty nest.

And Wendy gets into position for a return to Step. 1.