Wendy is gone !

I know that you all know that dear ol' Wendy died early last summer.   But I realized yesterday how very "gone" she is.   Wendy isn't just gone from my life, she's gone from my mind.

As someone with SDAM (Severely deficient autobiographical memory - yes, that's a thing) I have no pictures in my head and no memories to replay.

While walking with Sooki and Dexter the other day I realized that I couldn't visualize Wendy.  I couldn't imagine her walking behind me.  I could not "see" her face.  I didn't really miss her.  

I've owned Mini Schnauzers before; Chandler and Fletcher.   When I thought HARD I realized I had NO memories of either of them.  Nothing.   Nada.   Zippo.   Zilch.   

I liked life better before I realized all this.  

Being retired I'm not busy as I was when life was a frantic juggle of work and child care and getting home at lunch to let the dogs out and rushing home after work to make dinner and walk the dogs.  There was little time for reflection.  

But now there is.

I realized on that recent walk that one day I will not be able to bring Sooki to mind.  I won't remember her habits.  I won't remember how she tries to climb onto my lap as if she is a tiny thing who can curl up there without crushing my legs under her weight.  I won't recall how she loves to burrow under the blankets with me a night.  Her sweet nature and her kind heart and wiggly bum will be lost to me.

I want to remember good times with my parents and family ... I know I had them ... but I recall none of them.

Today FaceBook posted a video from three years ago of Trey chasing a toy in a field near me.  Trey died two months after that video was made.  I was furious at FB for inflicting that memory on me!    

Is that what it is like in your head ?

You cannot choose to have just the good memories flooding back but the traumatic and sad ones pour in too ?   Unbidden ?   How do you cope ?

I look through photos and remember things I did but those things only exist in the photos.  I cannot expand on them in my head.

I would love to see my parents in my mind's eye but would it hurt ?   Would I miss them far more than I do ?   Are the memories worth the remembered loss ?

When Wendy's death was still fresh I made memorial stones for her and put them in places where we walked to help me remember.  I remember that I loved her and she was a super good dog.   But in my heart of hearts, I do not remember Wendy.

And I think that makes me sad; but I wonder if I'd be even sadder if I did ?

I guess it's time for a new header image ...

It's been a while.

I think I've mentioned before that because I post a lot to Facebook that seems to meet my need to keep in touch with friends and family near and far; but it doesn't really, coz not all of them are on Facebook.

When finally I do think about creating a blog post, I feel overwhelmed as so much has happened.

So very much has happened.

Butters, Roswell and Charlotte.

I began the New Year with four cats and two dogs.  Today I have one cat and two dogs; and one of those dogs is not the same as before.

Sooki, Wendy, Butters and Charlotte.

The precis version:  Roswell (died from a collapsed lung), Charlotte went to live with Kait, Butters (died from complications from diabetes) and my dear, dear Wendy (died from bone cancer).

My beloved Wendy.

Sorry to lay all that on you in one lump, but it is what it is.

My wonderful Wendy.

¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬

I have never however been known for my practicality, and hence by summer's end a new pup entered our household.

His name is Dexter and he has fit right in...

Clara, Dexter and Sooki.

... but I still miss Wendy.

I have left memory stones at places we used to walk.

Off on a whim ...

Being retired, my mornings are pretty laid back and undirected.  That's not always a good thing.  It's nice to have some place you have to be; where people are waiting for you.  Now Kait has moved out I'm learning to cope with living alone for the first time in over 35 years.

After breakfast I was snuggled in my comfy chair vacillating between reading and falling asleep.

At 11 a.m. the thought came into my head that I needed to get off my arse and go somewhere.

I got dressed, did some laundry, hung it on the line and headed out with Wendy and Sooki.

By 12:30 we were at the Port Williams dyke.  

Today the tide was at its lowest.

It's one of my favourite places in Nova Scotia.  A long walk along the top of a dyke it looks different each time I go; not just seasonal changes but tidal changes.

This is not high tide.  The tide is about half way up.  

The weather was sunny and mild; amazing weather for October 28.

The trail curves to the right in the distance and ends up in the town of Wolfville several kilometres away.  If you look very carefully you might even be able to see the white spire of Acadia University right of centre.

I've never actually gone all the way there, though I have explored the trail from the Wolfville end.

The dogs love trotting along the top of the dyke.  After a while they get hot and start looking wistfully at the water in the river below.   

So near and yet so far.

There's really no way they could get to the tidal river.  The muck would make it impossible for them to move forward.

The dogs romp in the grass and occasionally stumble into hidden muck holes. 

Sooki disappeared into a muck hole and when she scrambled out this is how she looked.

Wendy's turn was next.

Nothing like a good roll with your favourite ball.

By 3 pm we'd had a good walk and it was time to head home but in a different frame of mind.

                                                         A better frame of mind for sure.

P.S.  Had to give Wendy a bath when we got home.   You should see the tub.  lol

Two different post titles.

I thought I might title this post "What's in the poop bag?".

But I also wanted to title it "The slowest walk ever".   

I thought either title would grab the reader and arouse their curiosity.

Did it work ?

Today I took the dogs to the Powder Mill Lake Trails just off Rocky Lake Road.  We took the right hand trail; the narrowest and shortest of the trails.  It ends at another trail and then I thought we'd loop back to where we started.

We trotted along for about five minutes until I spotted Blackberries.

Blackberries !

The trouble was I wasn't the only one who spotted the berries.

So, we'd walk ten feet and then Sooki or I would spot a loaded bush and start in on it.  She just picked and ate while I picked and put a poop bag to a new and far less stinky use. 

On the next trail we stumbled across some other berries.  OK.  Don't be alarmed but I'm not sure what kind of berries they were but Sooki and I ate loads and aren't yet doubled over in pain so I'm guessing they were safe to eat.  This is what they looked like.

Sooki quickly discovered that they were delish and pushed her way into the bush and started munching away.  

Wendy's tactic is a bit different.   

Wendy stands there.  She looks meaningfully at the bush and then at me.  The bush.  Then me.   "Take the berries from the bush and put them in mouth you silly human !" she brilliantly conveys to be with her pointed looks.    And that's what I do.  I can be trained.

Then guess what we found ?   Blueberries !   

And I was just reaching down to pick some of the biggest, juiciest Blueberries when  ...

Well I think you now understand why I had a very slow walk and a very full poop bag, but rest assured, I'm not complaining.

It was delicious.

Wendy to the rescue.

It's been a while since I've gone for a walk on the Rifle Range trail so I headed there today.

Since it had been a bit chilly overnight the bugs weren't too bad so I meandered into the woods rather than staying on the open road. While the dogs tore about with their noses to the ground I rambled about stopping to look at mushrooms, 

and check out all the interesting biking equipment built throughout the woods.

It was all rather fascinating and I followed the bike trails and even "tried" to walk along some of the equipment which led farther and farther into the woods.

This piece was interesting and rather alarming as it ended ten feet up in the air; hence the "Know your skill" sign !

As I explored Sooki would occasionally climb some of the pieces.

Even though she's older, when it comes to climbing up slopes Wendy was well ahead of Sooki and I.  A couple of times I had to hold Wendy's collar and she'd help me up or down a steeper slope.

I just love wandering through the green forest.   Since the highway is only a kilometer away I can always hear the distant traffic.  Suddenly I noticed that the traffic sound was in the wrong direction.  I thought I was walking back toward where I'd parked my car but clearly wasn't.  Instead I was walking deeper into the woods !

This has happened a couple of times in the past.  I tend to say "I'm not lost -- I've just mislaid myself".

WOW.  I was really, really mislaid today.

When I tried to walk toward the traffic sound I noticed that  it now seemed to be coming from two directions !

Can you tell from my excessive use of exclamation points that I was growing concerned ?

I had my cell phone with me but its map feature lacks the detail to give me an accurate sense of direction, but it does let me take pretty pictures while I'm lost.

So I did the only thing I could; I asked Wendy to take us home.  What I said was "Wendy, that's it, let's go home" and she turned and trotted off.   She didn't go on a trail as we were not on one.  She simply turned into the woods and trotted off.  She'd then stop to make sure I was following.  

During much of our walk Sooki had followed the sounds of Red Squirrells and tore around through the woods.  Once I asked Wendy to lead us out Sooki suddenly stayed glued to her.

After following Wendy for a mere 5 minutes she'd led me to a trail I knew that quickly led us out of the woods !

She's an amazing dog.

Seriously ?

Seriously ?   My last blog post was in September ?  I blame Facebook.  Well Facebook or Donald Trump.   

I can't believe that my last outing I told you about was to LaHave.   That means I haven't told you about Micou's Island,  the Port Williams Dyke hike, the "bully walk rally" in Halifax, Kingswood Park, Rainbow Haven or Grand Pre and Horton's Landing ! 

Where to start ?

Micou's Island was my latest outing with Sara and Kelly so let's start there.  

Like many amazing places here, I have driven by the turn off to this kewlest of kewl places many times without knowing it.  It's just off the road to Peggy's Cove and about 40 minutes from my home.  You wouldn't believe how many marvellous places are under an hour from my home.

Once more the girls suggested we meet up at a nearby bakery prior to our hike.  How do they know about all these damn bakeries ?   And how on Earth could I have driven by this bakery and not noticed it before ?   I mean, look at it  !   

So we met up.  Had sandwiches made for our lunch, got a HUGE piece of carrot cake to share, and set off.

The unique thing about 22 acre Micou's Island is that it's only reachable during a 5 hour window around low tide.   You can rest assured that we checked the tide schedule before we went, and arrived NOT at low tide but a couple of hours before to give ourselves that window.

The spit of land that appears for 5 hours at low tide connecting the island to the mainland.

The island is protected public land with trails and a building maintained by a group of local volunteers.

Did I say they maintained the trails ?   Hmmmm.

The trail that led into the woods was most promising at first, but then it vanished forcing us to backtrack and opt for the shore trail instead.

The shore trail wove its way through the woods too but we were never far from the shore.

Don't be fooled.  Just because they call it "Sandy Beach Trail" does not mean you're walking along a sandy beach.  See.

Notice how high the water comes at high tie.

A memorial to the donors of the island.  

We did manage to find a spot along the shore to eat our lunches; and eventually the trail lead through the trees to a lovely open area,




where we sat and admired the view for a while,

or went down to the shore to photograph the nearby island.

Once back on the trail, it curved back inland and soon brought us to a meadow with a beautifully restored fisher's cottage.   

The weathered wood is so beautiful and I took shot after shot ...

I even peered in through the window.  

Apparently members of the stewardship association who take care of the island occasionally stay in the "cottage".   

I would love to do that -- just not in Winter !

Perhaps if we sit at the door someone will let us in.  

Sara and Kelly.

Though we'd been on the island for several hours the spit of land was wider when we left that when we arrived.  I know we'd all been secretly worried about discovering it gone and having to wade back to the mainland.  Silly us !   

Sara, writes for a local newspaper and our walk at Micou's Island was mentioned in her article about the joy of walking.  You can read it here.